NIAT BERKAWAN

Assalammualaikum

First of all, Selamat Berpuasa to all Muslims. 

Secondly, I would like to apologize for not posting any new post for a while now since I'm a bit busy.

Thirdly, this post is not all about puasa.

Finally, this post will be written in both Bahasa Malaysia and English and in a "rojak" way.

Hi. Apa khabar semua? Kalau dah mengantuk baru baca sikit post ni, sila skip. Haha. I don't want you to find me boring. Anyway yang ada twitter, jaga-jagalah nafsu sebab confirm ramai yang retweet post pasal makanan, minuman semua. Takpe, dugaan. Lebih pahala puasa korang yang menahan In Shaa Allah. Yang ada instagram pula, lagi-lagi wanita, dah post belum gambar pakai telekung pergi terawih? Kalau belum, apa lagi, jangan lupa selfie lah ye malam nanti. Hehe.

Anyway, like I said earlier, this post won't be all about puasa kan. So, izinkan saya tukar topik pula. Hmm. May I ask, korang pernah tak nampak seseorang ni, tak kesah la sama jantina ke tak, tapi korang tengok orang tu dan rasa nak berkawan dengan orang tu? I don't know. Maybe because when you look at them, you find them cool enough and wanted to be friends with them. Pernah? Bukan nak kawan dengan orang tu so that you will look cool or whatever, no. Tapi nak kawan dengan dia dengan ikhlas, because he/she looks kinda cool to you and so nak berkawan dengan dia. Pernah?

Well that's good. If you ask me, I'll say go for it. You wanna make new friends? Go ahead. There's no harm in that at all. In fact, it's the opposite of harm. There's nothing wrong at all when it comes to making new friends. However, need I remind yourself, every magic has its price. And every friendship, has its own story.

So now orang yang you wanted to be friends with to, is your friend. Borak-borak and all that. Suddenly, you guys hangout together. And finally you found out that your niat was ikhlas to be friends dengan orang tu, but orang tu anggap yourself as a passing interest, or as a "touch n' go" perhaps. I don't know whether you can understand me or not, but senang cerita, your niat was ikhlas, but he/she punya niat MAYBE is the opposite. Well, it happened to me. That's why I said maybe. Because I don't actually know niat dia ikhlas to be friends with me or memang niat dia rupa-rupanya jadi kawan aku was because he/she just thought me as of his/her passing interest.

Mesti dah menguap banyak kali kan. Haha. Takpe, you may close this tab if you want to.

Anyway, I'm still gonna continue. So now you guys must be wondering "kenapa kau fikir niat dia macam tu pula? Dia ada buat apa-apa ke?" right? Well if so, then the answer is yes.  Next soalan dalam fikiran korang is "apa yang dia buat?" kan? Well if so, then the answer for that question is I am not gonna tell you. I just won't. But kalau you readers out there are so awesome, I really hope you guys would understand. I do. But just bayangkan lah, benda yang kawan tu buat, makes you marah sebab if he/she would have just told you the truth in the first place, you would understand, and things will be different. And unfortunately, sebab kan your niat was to be a friend, dalam rasa marah, you felt sad and kecewa at the same time. Sebab tak sangka orang yang at first you thought would be cool and nice to be friends with turns out bagi you rasa sad and kecewa. 

So may I ask you, kalau benda ni jadi to yourself, what will you do? You still wanna be friends with him/her , but you know you might just get hurt again, but you still want to be friends with orang tu sebab you still want to believe that orang tu baik. But kalau jadi kawan balik, you're scared that it might be awkward between the two of you. So, what will you do?

Maybe most of you fikir "alah ramai lagi orang lain boleh buat kawan". True. I agree. But unfortunately, you are not me and I am not you. You may think its easy to make new friends, but for me, I have history. Past events makes it hard for me to do that. Maybe salah aku juga. It was my mistake that aku mengharap sangat nak jadi kawan dengan dia, tu yang when something went wrong, I felt mad, sad and frustrated at the same time. But then again, if only everyone in this world use this term;

"Honesty is the best policy"

Things will be different. Maybe some of you said "dah orang tak tanya, buat apa nak cakap", well, tak salah kalau bagitau kan walaupun orang tu tak tanya. Lagi-lagi kalau benda yang orang tu tak tanya tapi you rasa you should say sebab takut anything wrong might jadi kalau tak bagitau. I just don't understand. So now I don't know what I should do. Semalam dah tanya kawan dah, tapi tak cerita pun apa kawan tu buat. Cerita lebih kurang macam ni juga. And ada lah a friend ni encouraged me untuk do something. But then again, aku rasa macam tak boleh nak buat. Dalam masa yang sama fikir juga, orang tu maybe tak kesah pasal aku, kenapa aku kena amik kesah pasal dia. Hmm. I know. I'm confused.

Anyway, I know orang yang aku maksudkan tu will never gonna read this because walaupun orang tu kata dia suka baca, I don't think he/she will read this because it's from me. But, if you do read this, I just want you to know, I still hope that we can still be friends, but at the same time, I gave up, hope for the best and hope that you realize what you did was wrong to me and lagi satu pihak tu. And I also wish to know, do you feel sorry for the things you've done to me? If so, ikhlas ke maaf tu? How can I believe you if you said ikhlas? Or. Is it sebab rasa bersalah dekat orang lain, so you said sorry to me? Hmmm. 

I think that's enough for me for now. If you guys have any ideas or comments or have anything to say about this, do help me out here. Do tell me what I should do. Kalau taknak dekat sini pun, hit me up on my twitter ke wechat ke instagram ke facebook ke whatsapp ke. Anything will do just fine.

Okay done. Sorry though for my broken English, my terrible Bahasa Malaysia, and most importantly, sorry kalau I wasted your time for reading this. Till we meet again. Toodles.